Russell and the Georgia State Trooper
One time, we were driving back to Michigan, after playing a bunch of Holiday Inns in Florida. We had loaded up and left when we finished playing the night before, and I had been driving all night.
My roadies, Russ and Terry, had stayed up with me to "keep me awake". Of course, I had to bribe them to do this by supplying them with beer. It was right about daybreak, and we were somewhere in south Georgia. They said they had to stop to pee. I told them to wait for the next exit, but with all that beer in them, they had to stop RIGHT NOW.
So, I pulled the truck over to the side of Interstate 75. Since it was so early, there was not another car in sight. I figured they would run back in the bushes by the road, pee, and get their silly asses back ASAP.
Instead, Russ hops out, trots to the middle of the highway, and starts wildly pissing all over the road.
Right then, I see a Georgia state trooper, in a Mustang GT, across the median, headed southbound. I was hoping he wouldn't notice, but it was kind of hard to miss Russ, alone in the middle of the empty interstate, pissing all over the place.
Sure enough, he cuts a U turn across the median, and he's on us in seconds. Russ had seen him, and ducked back into the truck. This HUGE Georgia state cop, sticks his head through my window, and shouts, "Which one of you fuckers was pissin' on ma hiway?". He was genuinely furious.
Everyone started waking up at the shouting. We all just sat there and played stupid. The band members who had been sleeping had no idea what was happening. He shouted again, "I said, Which one of you fuckers was pissin' on ma hiway?", but nobody cracked.
Finally, he yells, "If Ah ever see y'all pissin' on ma hiway again, yer all goin' to jail!", and he stormed off, got in his GT, and left.
After he left, I said, "Jesus, that was a close one". Russ said, "Man, you got that right! I thought he was gonna notice THIS!".
And he points to a half - burned joint that he had left laying in plain sight on the dashboard.
Driving drunk can be dangerous, but driving WITH drunks has its hazards, too.
